Sat there on my knees, praying silently to a God I’ve abandoned,
wondering fleetingly if it was too late, to return home.
My whispers sounded harsh against the walls of the empty room –
I was begging desperately against the despair that loomed.
Where was this leading to, I had no clue,
I was simply paying the price of sins long overdue.
Games shouldn’t be played when you don’t know how to gamble,
the stakes are high, this is a race; you can’t amble!
Crawling across the pool of my blood,
I slowly traced the outline of my still beating heart.
Angry with myself, angry with all of them,
I took the knife and plunged it deep with my bare hands.
Realising the slow ebb of my life-force,
I hovered pathetically in front of heaven’s doors.
As the last breath emptied out from my lifeless shell of being,
I suddenly remembered why I had endured living.
The images of her flashes on and off in my mind,
flickering like the static TV, it gets clearer each time.
A sudden bout of remorse and guilt washes over me,
I want to return back to her and tightly embrace her body.
Yet my recklessness has gone one step too far now,
there was no one to hear my pleas, to lend a help somehow.
The deed has been done, blood had been senselessly spilled,
heaven has shunned me, hell awaits this idiotic fool.
Haven’t I reminded you, time and time again,
a demon deserves no love – nothing to own nor gain.
Garbage were meant to be cleared and incinerated
such was your fate right now, you worthless bastard.