“My conversation with the artist made me feel like attempting this. Their tumblr offers a lot of amazing artwork; you guys should check it out. This is a fictional story of two people from the Goddammit Mei! group on Facebook – kind of a different version from the regular fanfics that’s out there about them.”
The artist’s tumblr link : http://elliotdrawpls.tumblr.com/
“Shini, why do you seem … out of sorts?”
Alex had received a text from Shini that morning, asking her to come over to her girlfriend’s place for dinner later on after work. Hoping to spend some quality time with her girlfriend and momentarily forget all the trouble at work, Alex had arrived at Shini’s place earlier than expected. She was looking forward to the night and such was taken aback with Shini’s moodiness. She was greeted at the door with a sour look and a sombre atmosphere.
Now, sitting on the couch beside her, Alex couldn’t help but wonder about the cause of her girlfriend’s moody behaviour.
“Is everything okay?” Alex asked again.
“Yes, everything’s fine.”
The answer was curt and so un-Shini-like. “I don’t remember having you greet me at the door without a smile, a warm hug and a kiss. You don’t even seem happy having me here, which is quite … hard to digest at the moment.”
“No one can be cheerful and sunny all the time, Alex.”
“Yes, I understand that but even on your bleakest day – like the other day, when you had that problem at work, you had welcomed me with warmth, even though you were absolutely seething with anger.”
Shini kept silent this time around, not bothering to answer Alex’s questions. When Alex scooted over close to her, she moved away instead, causing the blonde to feel a sudden sharp pang of rejection.
“What’s going on?” Alex asked, sounding harsher than she had originally intended. “Do you want to break up or something? Is that why you’re cold all of a sudden?”
“What?” a look of panic crept onto Shini’s face. “What are you talking about? No! Of course I don’t want to break up with you!” she exclaimed. “I’d never want to do that.” Her voice was beginning to hitch; a slight sob escaped before she could swallow it.
Alarmed with the sudden change in her behaviour, Alex went to her girlfriend. “Kitty, what’s wrong? Come on, you know you can talk to me about anything right?”
Nodding, Shini allowed Alex to gather her in her arms and nudge her onto the couch; Alex’s arms still wrapped around her. Sitting there, cradling her, Alex stroked her hair and waited for whatever it is that was troubling Shini to come pouring out of her. She knew it was only time before Shini opens up to her; for now, all she wanted to do was to console her and hug her tight; give her the warmth that Shini couldn’t offer to her earlier on.
Minutes later – though it seemed to be hours – Shini wriggled in her embrace; Alex knew she wanted to be released but all she did was simply loosen her hold; she wasn’t letting Shini get away from her until she knew what was going on.
“It’s because of the post you put up today; you know, asking all those people in all those groups to stop adding you.”
“What about it?”
“Well, you’ve been posting them frequently these days, and not just on our group, but also on Pulse, and on your personal account. It’s almost a monthly thing for you now.”
“Where are you going with this?” Alex asked, exasperated and confused with the topic.
“It bothers me, that there are so many people out there that want to get to know you and be close to you.”
“That’s what this is about?” dumbfounded, Alex leaned back, checking Shini’s face to see if she was being serious. Noticing that she was, Alex couldn’t help but grin. “Shini, are you jealous?”
Furious with herself, and with Alex, Shini pushed at her girlfriend’s chest, but Alex wasn’t budging.
“God, you were jealous!” Alex said with a hint of awe.
“I’m not jealous,” Shini said stubbornly. “I just … don’t know how to react, that’s all. The first few time it was funny – ‘cause hey, I get it too. But when it progressed to this extent, especially since you started sharing pics of the real you, I guess I started feeling a bit insecure. Reading all those comments by all those fangirls, the way they kinda objectify you, makes my blood boil at times; but it also makes me wonder, what if somehow, someway someone manages to catch your eye.”
“Shini…” Alex began but Shini cut her off.
“Please don’t tell me it’s nothing for me to worry about. Our age gap … I would be in my forties by the time you reach your prime.”
“And I’d still love you then, just as I am now. Can’t you see – I’ve often ignored all those comments, those likes and tags, yet even if it’s just a sticker comment from you, I always find time to reply to you. Even when I post anything up in our group, it’s almost always directly linked to you.”
“Fangirls? Kitty, I have no eyes for any of them except you. You’re the only fangirl I want,” Alex added.
“I can’t believe all this was just for something so trivial. I have no time for any of them; you know how busy I get at times. It’s only you that I’d gladly make time and space for; it’s only you that I’d want to hug and cuddle like how we are at the moment. I put up those posts so that they’d stop bugging me – frankly it’s starting to annoy me.”
Feeling foolish with herself, Shini burrowed herself into Alex’s arms, enjoying the warmth that was spilling out of Alex’s body and into hers. Shaking her head, Alex tightened her arms around Shini, thinking back on the conversation that they had just had.
“You know, you probably wouldn’t like hearing this, but it kinda felt great to know that you were jealous of all that ‘extra’ attention I was getting.”
Squirming, Shini could feel the heat of embarrassment creeping up to her face; her neck, her ears were all hot and red. “I think I sort of knew you’d be like this; that’s why I hesitated to let you know.” Sighing, she sat up. “I’m not used to this; I’m used to being sure of myself, being the dominant one – you’ve left me all tangled up with my feelings for you that I can’t think straight at times – and it’s embarrassing; I’m supposed to be the matured one here!”
Smiling, Alex hugged her from behind this time around. “That’s good then – ‘cause you have the same effect on me too. You’re not the only one that gets her feelings all tangled up, you know.” Still grinning foolishly, Alex kissed her neck, gently nipping before she broke the kiss.
Seized by a sudden thought, Shini angled her head to get a better look at Alex. “Have you rejected all those friend requests?”
Curious with where this question was heading, Alex answered, “No, I just ignored them. There’s too much for me to reject personally. I’ll get back to it someday – probably in the distant future. Why do you ask?”
“Let me see them.”
Her curiosity peaked, she handed her phone over to Shini, watching her girlfriend unlock her phone and navigate to her Facebook.
“What are you doing?” Alex asked, curious with all the tapping that Shini was doing; her viewpoint blocked by her girlfriend’s head.
“Checking out girls of course.”
“Well, some of them are pretty hot. It’d be a shame for you to simply reject and ignore them. So I accepted their requests; let me know if they ever upload any selfies, alright?”
Alex couldn’t help herself; she just burst out laughing, burying herself in Shini’s hair, delighted with the creature she had in her arms.
“Only you could be so unique like this, kitty. Only you.”
“Well, I’m your kitty after all.”
“And I’m Shini’s puppy,” Alex replied before turning her over to lean in and claim the kiss that Shini had withheld from her earlier that evening, her mind thinking about the ship that Shini almost sunk once again.