I could feel the hands closing in,
Threatening to wrap me in its chokehold.
Cut off from support, feet up in the air,
Despair descends, darkness cloaks my vision.
As the air slowly escapes my lungs,
As life slowly ebbs out of my body,
Pretty images flashes by –
That can’t be me, that can’t be mine.
The images seem too pure to be mine –
This is a lie, I had no such life!
As I watch in confusion at these unreal images,
They distort into something else, they distort into my nightmare.
Everything dripped in black,
Everything was tainted, stained by me.
The cold that it brought made my blood dance in joy
Yet the slight humanity in me began to suffer, began to cry in pain,
Wishing for the images to disappear,
I willed death to come at me faster
Yet it simply sat back to enjoy
The anguish that the reliving of memories had caused me.
Stuck, rooted in my predicament,
I will myself to escape, to bring consciousness to a close.
Yet my body, my mind decided to betray me then –
They decided to punish me for my sins on them.
Even impending death offered no respite
For the demon that hid still within me.
Snarling, raging, tearing at my limbs,
Nothing put a stop to it – to the reliving of these nightmares.
I knew escape wasn’t forever, I knew everything had a price –
and like the coward I was, I refused to pay, to own up.
Hell awaits, its arms already around me –
The hands tighten its grips, breaking what’s holding me back,
taking me away with it.